As the number of elderly in the U.S. increases, so will the incidents of caregiver stress and depression. Currently, caregivers are six times more likely to experience symptoms of depression than people in the general population. In addition to all of their regular responsibilities, which may include raising children, caregivers are faced with having to provide care for an elderly relative. This relative may be ill or frail and may require considerable time and attention, causing the caregiver to feel exhausted and unable to complete necessary tasks. Warning signs of stress and depression may include anger at the older relative or others, social withdrawal, sleeplessness, irritability, difficulty with concentration, and health problems.
Helpful strategies
- Make sure you take care of yourself by eating well, getting enough rest, exercising, and taking breaks from caretaking. Taking good care of yourself is not being selfish, since it will help you continue to take care of your relative.
- Ask for help from others, even if the person you're caring for objects. Everyone has their limits, and you also need support and caring.
- Remember that you cannot control your relative's illness. But you can control a certain degree of how you respond to it.
- Simplify your lifestyle so that you will have time and energy for what is most important.
- Remember that your relative is not being "difficult" on purpose.
- Remember that you are doing the best you can.
- Take pride in what you're accomplishing and applaud your own courage.
- Reject any attempts by your relative (conscious or unconscious) to manipulate you through guilt or anger.
- Take one day at a time and try not to worry about what may or may not happen in the future.
- Focus on and enjoy what your relative can do, rather than focusing on what he or she can no longer do.
- Do not cut yourself off from other relationships. You will still need them when your relative no longer needs your full-time help.
Resources
Internet sites
The Merck Manual of Geriatrics is available free at www.merck.com
American Association of Retired Persons www.aarp.org
Blue Shield of California blueshieldca.com
Books
Horne, J., Helping an Aging Loved One
Pipher, Mary, Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of our Elders
