Grief is a normal, though painful, response to loss. We experience grief following the loss of friends and family through death, divorce, misunderstandings, and relocations. We can also experience grief in response to loss associated with physical illness or injury, job loss, or other significant loss. Children are also affected by loss and may be grieving and need the support of adults.
When grieving, we may experience decreased appetite, difficulty sleeping, frequent tearfulness, difficulty concentrating, anger, and a sense of isolation. Grief is a highly personal experience. There are no set stages or feelings that all people go through when they are grieving. There is no "right" way to grieve. Our responses, thoughts, and feelings come and go with varying intensity across time.
Below you will find helpful strategies for coping with grief.
Make time work for you.
- Acknowledge your experience, including your thoughts, feelings, and changes in behavior over time.
- Anniversary dates and milestone events in our lives will often remind us of a loss we have had. Talk about it.
Balance your time and ask for help.
- Balance solitude with community. Return to and maintain as much of your routine as you can.
- Ask friends and family to call you regularly after the loss, or on an important date.
Attend to your physical needs and appearance.
- Get proper rest and nourishment
- Try to eat small meals regularly and do your best to sleep at night. It's also important to maintain daily hygiene.
Ask for practical support.
- Don't hesitate to ask for help with childcare, grocery shopping, housekeeping, and other tasks, especially in the early stages of your grief.
Avoid numbing your pain.
- Avoid drugs or alcohol to deal with difficult thoughts or feelings.
Avoid making life-changing decisions.
- Give yourself some time to adjust to your loss before you make significant changes.
Maintain hope.
- As we progress through our grief, we may find that we have changed in unpredictable yet meaningful ways that contribute to growth.
Resources
Internet sites: GriefNet and KIDSAID http://www.griefnet.org/
Blue Shield of California blueshieldca.com
Books: Lewis, C.S., A Grief Observed Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth, On Death and Dying
